I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
