508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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