She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
