So gin and wine won't be happening again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Someone signed my nipple.
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