Ambien. No doubt about it.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
