I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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