So drunk its hurt
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sober January is a disaster.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
