just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
