the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
