I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
