I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize