We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize