found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
