My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
too bad you live with your parents still
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
