K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
