The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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