i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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