How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
