If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
