either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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