ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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