Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
