i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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