You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
