is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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