Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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