Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
