I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
