That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
