make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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