The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
