Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize