i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
