So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
