I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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