I just pynch a tree in the face
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
