I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
