I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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