You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
