bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
