I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
