I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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