So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
