There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
