I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
