talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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