Pappa wants mamma naked
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
