i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
