"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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