I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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