I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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