So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
