I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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