I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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