Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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