We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
