: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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