Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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