I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
