Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i jhust puked up my retainher.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
