Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
