Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
