He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
